Do you wake up every day feeling on top of the world?
Looking out the window and what you see is grey skies, maybe rain for the second day and the thought of wearing your winter coat in April fills you with a longing for a holiday in brighter, warmer places.
Your mood plummets.
Then you catch the first glimpse of yourself in the mirror.
All you see is wrinkles, dry skin, stray chin hair and unruly hair.
I know, because this was me yesterday.
Thing is, sometimes we just wake up feeling a bit urgh. It’s not your fault and every day can’t be silver linings and all. (and we’re in the process of ageing – it’s life)
Why? Because we’re having a human experience, and having a human experience means we have emotions and things happen and we react to them and we have feelings about them and that can cause us to have different moods and reactions to various situations.
On top of that, we’re women! Women have hormones that affect how we feel, mentally, emotionally and physically.
On top of that, you may be a woman in peri-menopause, with a fabulous body which is preparing for menopause which causes a whole other stream of thoughts, feeling and emotions, never mind feeling a bit icky in our bodies some (or many) days.
On top of that, there’s been a global pandemic for a year and although there is light at the end of the tunnel, it brings along a new set of worries and anxieties for many.
So, how can one feel sexy, healthy and happy when it seems that nothing is working in your favour and the only thing that will make you smile is a sunny day, 4 coffees and the thought of winning the lottery?
Heres’ the secret!
Feeling sexy, healthy and happy is an inside job!
All of these takes practice.
You deserve to feel all of these, but do you give yourself permission to feel this?
Maybe you believe your happiness will come when you’re a couple of dress sizes smaller?
Maybe you believe you’ll feel sexier when you can fit into your jeans from 1997?
Maybe you believe you’ll be healthier when you only eat salads and do juice cleanses once a month (and weigh a certain number)
Those things may help for a short while, but the longevity is negligible and in my experience really only fleeting.
So how do I manage to feel this regularly?
This doesn’t have to take more than 10 minutes, but the benefits from mediating come from when you do it consistently.
It’s a small space in your day to be present to your thoughts, emotions, body and the here and now.
How many times a day do you pause, to notice your feet, your hands or just notice the colours outside the window.
Pause to just notice an in-breath and an out-breath?
Without judgement, with patience and with sincere appreciation for what is in your life right now?
Somedays I meditate 10 minutes, some days 40, some days I take minutes here and there throughout the day, but not a day goes by without tuning into my wiser, older, deeper wisdom.
This space provides a portal to listen to my body, notice my thoughts and be with whatever is present, even the bad mood and fluctuating emotions.
The biggest gift meditation has given me – I’m happy for no reason.
This has become a regular practice in conjunction with meditation. It’s incredible that when you allow your heart to take over from the thinking mind, magic happens. It speaks a different language – a kinder wiser language of deep love, care and respect. Not wanting to ever hurt you but just guide, protect and empower. This is how I spend time to connect to who I really am, what I really want, be grateful for the little things and discover how I meant to show up and serve on this planet.
- Move my body
As I’m getting older, I have noticed that the dynamic yoga I did 5 years ago just doesn’t feel that good anymore.
So, does that mean I have stopped? No, I move my body every day in ways that feel delicious.
Ways that gives me energy and in ways that preserve energy on others, like when running a 5k does not feel like the right thing to do.
I’m not talking about HITT sessions and gymnastics.
I’m talking about swaying the hips, circling the ankles, wrists and neck.
Connecting with the body, coming home to the body, appreciating the body.
As she is all I have, and she needs to carry me till my last breath, so I will respect care for and trust her to be my most loyal companion.
If I don’t care for her and move her as she askes, I may run into problems later, and I can’t afford to do that because how will I live my one wild and precious life with a body that has not been looked after?
- Eat like a queen
Eating like a queen does not mean starving myself when my jeans are tight. Eating like a queen means that in order to live, make decisions and be the best version of myself I need to perform at my best.
And like a queen, there are parties, special occasions and the odd night off to drink wine, eat cake and get a take out.
Does that make me less of a queen tomorrow, no. It’s makes me human and part of the experience is to enjoy what is on the buffet table, but also listen to your body as to when to move away from the buffet.
- Have a conversation and listen to my wiser self.
So, yes there are many days that feels like it starts on the wrong foot. However, the beauty of this is that you can always get back into bed and get out with the oher foot.
It’s a conscious choice, a new beginning.
What do I do to change my mood state?
I make a conscious decision to have a chat to my higher and wiser self.
I may write affirmation words of positivity and love on the steamy shower door.
I may look in the mirror and say words like these:
“This is what a healthy woman looks like”
“This is what a sexy woman looks like”
“This is what a happy woman looks like”
And repeat, again, and again and again!
You may want to use your own words, and add what feels right to you.
See how it feels, it’s just playing.
Then, of course, I am a firm believer that clothes and colour have such a powerful effect on us.
Wear clothes that suit you, is comfortable but also makes you feel great. Wear it like armour, not in defence, but in your power!
The more attention you give to what is good in your life, the more that will be your experience.
If all your thinking is towards the negative the ugly, the difficult – then my dear, that will be your experience also.
Yes there are days that these things come easier than others and that’s ok because that’s part of being human.
The right to choose to feel this way is what is empowering and no one can take that away from us.
Once your eyes are open, it’s difficult to ‘un see’
I dare you to take some time out today and really notice how much effort you put in to feeling sexier, healthier and happier, or is it easier to throw your hands up in the air and resign yourself to the fact that others have it all, you will never have it and therefore why the hell do anything about it.
Enough! It begins and ends with you dear phenomenal woman.
You are in the driver seat and you make the decisions to how you want to feel, live and look.
It’s in your reach.
It’s in your power.
It’s your divine right to feel happy and be healthy.
All you have to do is decide – decide that this is what you want and then live it as if it has already happened.
You may say you don’t know what that feels like because you’ve never felt it, well, make it up.
Use your imagination and see what happens.
You may surprise yourself.
I’d love to hear what you did to shift your perceptions and actions to feeling sexier, healthier and happier.
PS. If you want to feel sexier, happier and healthier, but have no idea how to start, get in touch. I’d love to help you reclaim your zest for life and feel all those things and much much more.
Find out more about my 1:1 coaching program ‘The Simply Revived Program’
Or if you just know you’re ready but have a few questions, pick up the phone and call me the old fashioned way!
Photo credits https://unsplash.com/@dariusbashar